My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
