we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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