butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
