I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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