Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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