First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
