Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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