i need an iv and a liver transplant
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
