i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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