haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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