Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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