your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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