i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize