btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
