i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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