Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
