if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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