Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
