every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
