to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
