Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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