Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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