PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
