I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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