Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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