we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present