there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
