he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job