I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges