but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.