Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
