is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
