No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
