And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
