if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
