oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
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We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
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I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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