So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
its liver damage thursday
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