I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
