we're blogging at a bar
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize