I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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