BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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