i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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