He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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