last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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