We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
