Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
