Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need a beard to bite.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
