At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he puts the penis in happiness.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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