All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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