What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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