Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
