Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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