Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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