i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
