Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
