Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
