she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My vagina just recognized that song.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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