I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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