did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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