Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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