Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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