speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
