The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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