i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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