Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
