Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
