My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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