I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
