ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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