Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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