We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
