bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
