Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
