There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
