too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
